I look back at the day when i decided,..did i realize that after eight months i would still be looking back at the day when i decided..
That point in time it seemed the best thing to do but never i realized that after effects will prolong for so many days to come..so what exactly is a decision supposed to deliver!!
Lets look at it from this point of view..at certain point in time you are at a juncture where you no longer want to be and you jump out of it at the moment you see the first cushion available..so a decision is basically an escape from reality to find a new reality..only to find out that the jump did not land you in a soft cushion in your new life but again at a juncture where you are waiting for a decision to make..
For me right now in my life i am looking ahead for a new reality living in current phase with constant motions from the past reality..so i am chained from all possible angles and it is all in my mind..
i am living in three different kinds of life n the struggle to keep up with all three is tiresome..
coming back to the point that whether or not should i have had taken the initial decision but even today when i look back i very well know why i chose to find an escape so why do we always look back..the simple reason is that a part of you is still left there...
So a decision is essentially not complete if you dont jump to the new boat with all your gears..
in my case i am going to jump from both these boats together to a complete new boat and finding, creating a new reality!! Howsoever easy it seems, it aint bcoz the decision to be where i am currently is selfish because of people and comfort..
But one thing has happened in my favor..being in such a situation i have realised what i have to leave behind and what i have to carry forward..now i know what i want from my new reality and i will jump only when i can collect all my gears n move ahead without looking back till then enjoy this passing phase..this reality..with this struggle..because every struggle opens space for a new chapter to fit in!! :)
That point in time it seemed the best thing to do but never i realized that after effects will prolong for so many days to come..so what exactly is a decision supposed to deliver!!
Lets look at it from this point of view..at certain point in time you are at a juncture where you no longer want to be and you jump out of it at the moment you see the first cushion available..so a decision is basically an escape from reality to find a new reality..only to find out that the jump did not land you in a soft cushion in your new life but again at a juncture where you are waiting for a decision to make..
For me right now in my life i am looking ahead for a new reality living in current phase with constant motions from the past reality..so i am chained from all possible angles and it is all in my mind..
i am living in three different kinds of life n the struggle to keep up with all three is tiresome..
coming back to the point that whether or not should i have had taken the initial decision but even today when i look back i very well know why i chose to find an escape so why do we always look back..the simple reason is that a part of you is still left there...
So a decision is essentially not complete if you dont jump to the new boat with all your gears..
in my case i am going to jump from both these boats together to a complete new boat and finding, creating a new reality!! Howsoever easy it seems, it aint bcoz the decision to be where i am currently is selfish because of people and comfort..
But one thing has happened in my favor..being in such a situation i have realised what i have to leave behind and what i have to carry forward..now i know what i want from my new reality and i will jump only when i can collect all my gears n move ahead without looking back till then enjoy this passing phase..this reality..with this struggle..because every struggle opens space for a new chapter to fit in!! :)
so a decision is basically an escape from reality to find a new reality
ReplyDeleteSo a decision is essentially not complete if you dont jump to the new boat with all your gears..
because every struggle opens space for a new chapter to fit in!! :)
these are immortals revelations of life .....:)
well said !!
:)
ReplyDelete